I am blessed.
<3
Michelle
A Moveable Feast |
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Today I spent my afternoon climbing trees and picking crab apples to make cider.
I am blessed. <3 Michelle
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And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill and see what you find there, With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair. Dear Twinner, It’s our birthday! Congratulations on making 20 trips around the sun! Can you believe it? Only yesterday I was tackling you for stealing my stuffed animals and hitting you over the head with them—good times. In the past two decades we have grown side by side. In recent years we’ve spent more time apart than together, but you have always been and always will be my first best friend. Together we've learned so much: Like, how to hug and smile. We have discovered the healing power of a good nap. You have taught me that sun tan lines while working hard should be eliminated at all costs (even if it means wearing a onesie while mowing). Mamma bear taught us that spaghetti is best enjoyed without utensils and in the company of others. Pop-pop helped us learn that tractors, flannels, and sunshine are essentials of life and keys to happiness. I learned that anything can be conquered with cherry Kool-Aid in hand while decked out in my Sunday best. Sundays are the best. Together we remind each other that no one is ever too old for swings—ever. We have been afforded the invaluable lesson that dolphins should be kissed with care (and pigs fed beer with laughter). Ethan showed us that there are a few things a trip to the shore can’t cure. Mamma, Stephen, and Matthew were there to help us learn that Christmas stockings (and siblings) are sacred portals to childhood and neither should be lost nor forgotten. That big gold van and trips to see family taught us that car rides (and stroller rides) without seat belts may not be the safest way to travel, but they're definitely the most fun. Aunt Patti and Bryan helped us learn that snowboarding with people to push you back up the hill makes falling down it a little more worthwhile. Stephen, Leti, Mattia, and Davide led us on trips around the world to remind us to never stop chasing the things (and people) we love. You taught me the joy in catching fireflies and the magic of baseball in the summer. We’ve collected nicknames like potato, sweet potato, pop tart, corn pop, bran muffin, and sugar plum. Obviously we have become true aficionados of breakfast food. I have taught you to love the soul-stirring stylings of Jason Mraz, and we have learned that he is even more soulful and stirring live in concert. Through volume and repetition you have introduced me to Christian-rap and we’ve traveled long distances to see your favorite artists. It has blessed me to see how much you love the kind of music that inspires great things in you. With you by my side I've learned that photo booths, fake mustaches, and big ol’ glasses go hand in hand like, well, you and me. We truly have had a wild, colorful, and crazy past 20 years and I am so grateful to have shared them with you!
As I look ahead to what the next 20 years will hold for us I see us passing many milestones--together and apart, working hard, finding love, and taking advantage of everything life is worth. I’d be a very naïve 20 year old if I thought the next chapter of our lives would occur without any bumps in the road; so, as you begin your own incredible journey into adulthood I want you to carry with you the following birthday wishes: I wish for you to find work that is honest. The kind of work that leaves you tired at night, but that inspires you in the morning to rise without moaning I wish for you to remember that you are brave in the moments when you feel weakest I wish for you to find the kind of love that makes you feel strong and safe in the same instance, and reminds that you are known, needed, and valued I wish for you to reach the understanding that beauty and value are not synonyms for one another nor should one definition suffice as the house rule. You are not valuable because you are beautiful, you are valuable because you are human, and you are beautiful because you are a creation of God. Do not let the world persuade you otherwise. I wish that as you grow up you don’t leave your childhood behind. Always look at the world with wonder and every new day as a chance to play; play often I wish for you to discover the joy of knowing that home is not one place, but many places. Home is anywhere you can find love, rest, warm food and the comfort in knowing you can fart without judgment. I wish that you make it a priority to travel. You have a wild, adventurous spirit. Do not let the illusionary constructs of a “successful” life tame it. I wish for you to be aware of your health at every dimension. We are only given one body—use yours well. I wish for you to remember that there is no shame in an active mind. Explore and challenge what you think you know. Dig deep into long held truths, and treat graciously those things you would normally approach with skepticism. I wish that even as we grow apart we continue to grow together. I wish that as you move into these next 20 years you do not tread carefully, but begin with a splash and proceed boldly. And never, ever give up. I mean it. I wish for you many, many things, but at the end of the day I really only wish for your happiness. I’ve written a lot here already, much of which may be forgotten as you soon as you hit that little red “x” at the top of the screen, so if you remember anything from what I’ve written please remember this: I know best as anyone that our first 20 years have had their low points, up hill struggles, and confusing phases, but please—I beg you—do not let what you perceive to be the sum of your mistakes define who you are and what you do in your next 20 years, because, the truth is, you have never actually made a mistake you have only afforded yourself opportunities to gain enlightenment. Use that knowledge well. I love you forever and always, Michelle Good morning, y'all! This morning I woke up with one goal in mind: friggin' pack. But, then I found this article: Being Special Isn't So Special and I want to talk about it with you.
The article covers, mainly, why we as individuals aren't always as special as we think we are. When I first started reading the article I was like "No, I am special. I swear. My mom says so!!" but I kept reading and started to agree with him. He bases his assertion on the observation that in a world of a million blogs, worldwide Facebook users, and the opportunity at any moment to compare our lives to that of others leaves us feeling devalued and failures at not being able to achieve the life we want--or at least the life we are consistently told we should strive for. He argues that as a society we strive for earning more and more and more (the next Iphone, job promotion, or next opportunity to network), but we continue to feel like we are less and less and less valuable. And then I was like YES. His argument resonated with me for a few reasons: 1. I am growing up in a world of Facebook, Twitter, and blogging. My life is online in almost every way possible and that leads to constant comparison. 2. I'm a twin. This may seem like an odd reason, but even before I joined the world of social media my experiences, development, successes, and failures were cast against that of my brother. I became used to hearing from teachers, coaches, and friends "Wow you're nothing like your brother!" or "If he can do it why can't you?" 3. I often feel confused about how to obtain value in a world that demands value is achieved through appearance, money, and material substance. If you've ever met me I probably didn't have make-up on and you might have questioned if I even brushed my hair that morning, and for transparency's sake money is rarely a tool I can wield for gain in my day to day life. So I have to work on feeling valuable in my way, and by own standards. 3b. Let me cast a comparison against by family and high school friends (but certainly not everyone): I have carved out my own path towards higher education, and generally, in my own life. I was afforded the opportunity to travel and work for a year before going to a college that many do not even consider to be a real college. For the sake of this argument, in many ways I am not on the standard track for "success", and I try to not care what others think of the choices I've made to create my own happiness. I have to believe that I will be happy in the end—even during the times I’m told that I’ve already failed. My appreciation for this article stems from Manson's assertion that we all don't have to be CEOs, or world famous at anything, but we can all be important to our communities and valuable in smaller contexts—the contexts that matter. He recognizes that there is an innate human need to be seen and known and appreciated, but overtime we've misconstrued being known with how many "likes" we get on Facebook, and being seen if someone comments on our outfit, and being appreciated with how many universities offer us enrollment because obviously what we can offer an institution who doesn’t even know our name means we have value. Of course, I’m caught up in these modern trappings myself. I pay attention to how many hits this little blog gets, and get really self-conscious when my crooked teeth make it onto Facebook. And I’m definitely not happy with all of my experiences all of the time. When my friends who go to larger universities tell me of their larger experiences I get jealous. I wonder if I’m defective because I don’t want the latest Free People clothes or even care what brand my clothes are. Truthfully, a lot of my decisions can be traced back to the anxiousness of comparison and expectation that Manson talks about. I wish I knew a solution to breaking down a whole society worth of disillusioned success, but I don’t, and I’m hesitant to hastily subscribe to the solution Manson offers: not worrying about what others think, and embracing the simplicity of a mundane life. I think his resolution is flawed. Accountability within a community is so important. When I don’t have people in my life to remind me and nudge me in the right direction (even if that direction is just staying true to myself) I fall hard. And if a simple life was so satisfying why do droves of people literally hunger for more (Hello there, two trips to Italy). His resolutions provide options, but I refuse to accept that’s all there is. Value, I feel, is found when recognized. A warm hug from a close friend, or a silly award with your name on it—through those actions that recognize us we are told, and feel, that we are known by others and not just anyone, but by those who matter to us to. Also, know that you are great in your own right. I know that there are many times in life that we aren’t told and never hear we are valuable when we so desperately want to hear a simple “Thank you!” or “Wow what a great job!” or “I love you”. My opinions are but one of billions, but I am firm believer that you and I matter because we exist. We make a splash in this world simply by breathing. Whether you chose to agree with me or not is up to you, but I believe you were born with skills, talents, and a myriad of ways to contribute to the world around you even if that world is only ever your hometown or backyard. You are here and valuable. Do not ever forget that you matter and keep your chin up! Now, I really have to go pack. Happy Friday! Michelle xoxoxx Today's post was a challenge to create. I knew planning to do five posts in one week would be difficult but not because of the quantity, but the quality. All I want to express is my gratitude, but I can't seem to find the right words. I've been immeasurably blessed this year with great job opportunities, unexpected friendships, and travels better than any dreams I could imagine. In all ways my family has been supportive and encouraging. I'm ending the year without one regret or disappointment, and beginning this school year refreshed, energized and ready to learn what the future and God has in store for me.
I had planned on making a post of my favorite cities, eateries, eats, and more, but I couldn't because that doesn't seem like the right kind of thank you for the perfect year. Not every moment was actually perfect, of course, some were confusing, scary, challenging, and down-right nonsensical, but every moment has led me to a future I believe I belong in without a doubt. For the sake of full disclosure I'll tell you that I did make this prezi as a brief recap of my travels. It doesn't do my year justice in the least, but I'm not sure any thing I can create will. What I've decided is that the only way to honor how I've been blessed by this year is to live in gratitude. Constantly praising and thanking what and who I do have instead of focusing on what I don't. I don't have a perfect life, and rarely do I understand my place in this small world, but I believe being thankful is the best way to navigate any arena. Happy Monday, loves! Six more wake ups--can you believe it!?! and I'm sorry about that I just haven't felt up to it, but it's 10:50 on a Wednesday night so now is a better time than ever, I suppose. Lately I've just been chillin' like a villian--the norm. I've been reading Oscar Wilde and Italian grammar books so I can start ordering my own food without acting like a real dweeb. I did go out dancing one night which was a lot of fun, here's a picture: Anyways, other than that I've just been writing a lot of scholarship essays, playing Scrabble and Risk, and doing a lot of yoga. I'm going to upload some pictures of Montichiari as soon as I figure out where to put that darned camera chip into Stephen's computer, but until then here's some more of my friends and I. This weekend Stephen and I are going on a wine tour with some other players from the base and then to an agro-trattoria (I think) for dinner. Trattorias (don't quote me, here) are restaurants that, by law, grow and/or raise and prepare 90% of the food they serve so dinner will be super local and super yummy. I'm excited!
The trip we were planning to France kind of fell through so now we are looking into going to Eastern Europe which I would love since my favorite trip from last summer was Poland. I'm very thankful for my time back in bella Italia and want spring to hurry up and get here before I become too stir crazy! Enjoy the sunshine for me where ever you are! always xoxox Michelle "Why are you wasting your life? 1. Open these lyrics
2. Turn on this song 3. Return to lyrics, follow along 4. Smile. 5 Repeat. (Furthermore, the video just makes me happy) Phew, this past week has been a whirlwind of crazy adventures. I’ll try to recall everything that has happened but my tired brain is bound to forget all the witty remarks I’ve been thinking up for the last seven days. So, here we go: Saturday evening to Sunday evening was all travelling just to get to Italy. Stephen and I were both wiped out by the time we made it to his apartment (I want to record a video of it to post here so everyone can take the grand tour!). The trip from the airport was largely uneventful except for the fact of witnessing Italian driving, which proves as true as the stereotype. Their cars are equipped with both brakes and blinkers but I’ve seen them seldom use both. So instead of recounting my nauseating ride I’ll tell a few truths of international traveling I learned on the way here and on the way to Poland: 1) Switching time zones going east will make you lose a day of your life: I left Philadelphia at 5:40pm and landed in Frankfurt around 7:20am. A nine hour flight somehow took more than 12 hours and I was too groggy to recount how. Losing hours of my life on a plane is definitely not the way I want to go. 1) If you opt for the vegetarian meal on the plane you will get your food before everyone else and your seat mate* will stare at you like a ravenous bear: We got two different meals on the plane (dinner and breakfast) and I didn’t realize I was given the vegetarian option until the second meal when I got a wrap filled with lettuce for breakfast (thanks mom). When the flight attendant gave me dinner she did it discretely so the girl sitting next to me didn’t awake too suddenly from her deep bear-like hibernation but rather slowly eased herself to a conscience enough state to realize that I was eating and she wasn’t. The second time a new flight attendant gave me breakfast but made a lot more noise about it. Our exchange went something like this: (*she was German so I’ll try to relay her accent as best as possible, but where I fail just try to fill in the blanks*) The flight attendant: “Eez thiz your füd?” Me in my head: Oh, shoot lady look what’ve you’ve done, it has awoken. Me out loud: “Umm what do you mean?” The flight attendant: “Eeeeh. I beleeve zee vege-…eeh, vege-…eh….” Me out loud: “Yup that’s mine. It’s mine. I swear.” (Initiate Neanderthal like grabbing) Me in my head: “STOP STARING!” My seat mate this time darted like a bullet from her slumber and I swear she growled. *As a side note, when boarding the plane I got to my seat first (I had an aisle seat) and had to get up for my seat mate to get to her window seat. I was okay with this and actually very excited to be sitting next to someone my age so maybe we could chat but as soon as she plopped down in her seat she whipped out her ear buds and slammed the window blind shut. Hey girl, thanks for killing my dreams of us being besties and ruining my view of the night sky. (Insert a Ryan Gosling meme…or just Ryan himself) 3) You will not get a good night’s sleep, in fact you may never sleep at all: This is self-explanatory 4) You will welcome terra firma with more zeal and vigor than previously known…and possibly even kiss the ground: Okay, so I didn’t actually kiss the ground but I might as well have. My sinuses don’t react well to constant pressure changes (I just discovered this, this week) and so black pavement has never been more inviting than it was getting off the various planes. Alright, now a segway into Monday. I slept like a baby on Sunday night but was rudely awakened to go get on yet another plane for Poland. In truth, I was not initially excited to do this. I wanted to lie in bed for the next year and only face the light of day on my terms so getting on another plane didn’t seem appealing but we were out the door by noon and headed towards the airport in Milan. I won’t bore you with the details so fast forward five hours later>>>>>>>>>>>We landed in Poland and made our way to the Dizzy Daisy Hostel. The hostel was really cool. I like the community instantly created there. You have to wash your own dishes at breakfast and eat on sofas next to people from all over so you’re nearly forced out of the norm to communicate with people with a 50/50 chance you’ll get your point across. Also, the desk help was what I assumed (after meeting Polish friends on our second night) college students so they were eager to learn, listen, and help just as much as we wanted to. The beds weren’t fantastic but we came back so tired anyways that it didn’t matter. Day 1: This was only dinner since we got there in the evening, but Monday night I got sick so that seems significant enough to mention. I think it was from being not eating very much at dinner and the new environment. Once I got something to eat the next morning I felt great and could barely remember feeling poorly. Day 2: This was my favorite day of the trip. We went to Auschwitz in the morning and this trip made me love the Polish. The ones we met were hospitable and amiable and wanted to talk with us. Granted our tour guides were being paid by us and the friends we made are majoring in American Studies at their university but I nonetheless felt very welcome. I could write a lot about Auschwitz but I’m sure my words would never do the experience justice. I’ve been to the Holocaust museum but the hate and fear Stephen and I felt at Auschwitz, Birkenau, and Schindler’s Factory is unparalleled. Like, you just don’t get it till you’ve been there to see how real it really was. A cool thing about our tours though was our tour guide. He was exceptionally stoic. He took on this “come-hither” look in the most non-sensual way that simply said “Come look at me! Come look at how stoic I am!” I never thought someone could make drinking water look stoic but he did it. I’m still living in outright amazement and it’s been two days. Tuesday evening we went into the city again for dinner and that’s where we met Remy and Magda. They are lovely. We met them on the street when all four of us thought we were waiting for some famous soccer star. It was raining and no one was coming so Remy suggested we go get a drink. I’m 99% positive Stephen said yes before Remy completed his offer. According to Stephen you apparently follow the people making that offer, and I’m just glad we did. Getting to talk to native Poles was so interesting and I learned a lot about their country and my own. They were both so funny and natural; I think we hit it off immediately. We sat outside in what Magda translated as the Main Square for probably about 6 hours. Polska, Poland’s soccer team, was playing that night so the whole town was out to watch the game. Americans get riled up about football but these fans made the whole city shake it seemed like. Their pride and passion was incredible. After the game some Brits in town came to where we were and Stephen started talking to them. In the most polite way all I can say about them is that they were drunk and rude. Also, I couldn’t understand a word they were saying-honestly, I just nodded and smiled and tried to laugh when I thought they said something funny. It was obvious that the people around us were enjoying them even less than us but they were there only long enough to have one drink. Almost right after that a table of French guys sat down. They definitely made up for their British counterparts. They were quieter for one, and nicer for two. Also, one told me “Your French eet iz so beauteeful. I wish for you to only speek in zee French.” I know that’s not true because when I speak in French I sound like a frozen robot but when a French guy tells you to speak in French you speak in French, gosh darnit! They also hit on me hard core but they were also hitting on the waitress and probably would have flirted with Stephen if he put on a wig. All in all though they were pretty amusing and made me realize the only high school subject I may actually ever use, or at least use the most of, is French-which is fine by me. Day 3: This was the slowest day I believe probs because we got back to the hostel around 1:30 the night before. I was up and at ‘em at 9 like Stephen wanted us to be but we didn’t end up leaving the hostel until after 10 because the king needed more sleep. I like punctuality. I always have and I always will, it’s just my style so next time you set a wake-up time Stephen you better get up because I surly will be. After I successfully navigated our way to the Castle Wawel/Cathedral (which might I add was rather anti-climatic. I mean we didn’t even know we were even there until after we left so I don’t think we appreciated it as much as wanted to in the first place). After that we stopped for breakfast and then Stephen ever so patiently walked with me, all the way out of Krakow, to Schindler’s Factory which was a huge disappointment. I was expecting like the real deal, same building face and all but basically there was a plaque and in one room his desk. It was an adventure though and our (undeclared in the Beers-Worley-Beers Fiscal Year 2013 meeting) mantra for this year is “even mistakes are adventures” which is true I think in every sense. Day 3: This was the slowest day I believe probs because we got back to the hostel around 1:30 the night before. I was up and at ‘em at 9 like Stephen wanted us to be but we didn’t end up leaving the hostel until after 10 because the king needed more sleep. I like punctuality. I always have and I always will, it’s just my style so next time you set a wake-up time Stephen you better get up because I surly will be. After I successfully navigated our way to the Castle Wawel/Cathedral (which might I add was rather anti-climatic. I mean we didn’t even know we were even there until after we left so I don’t think we appreciated it as much as wanted to in the first place). After that we stopped for breakfast and then Stephen ever so patiently walked with me, all the way out of Krakow, to Schindler’s Factory which was a huge disappointment. I was expecting like the real deal, same building face and all but basically there was a plaque and in one room his desk. It was an adventure though and our (undeclared in the Beers-Worley-Beers Fiscal Year 2013 meeting) mantra for this year is “even mistakes are adventures” which is true I think in every sense. And on day four we’re back showered and full so to wrap up this ridiculously long post I’ll leave you with the things we learned about traveling, each other, and hostels: Hostels: BRING YOUR OWN TOWELS. I’m not sure how both of us didn’t realize this but we were drying ourselves off with extra clothes all week , so that was gross. Also, I forgot an entire day’s worth of clothes so yay for rewearing clothes and feeling like a hobo. (remember, even mistakes are adventures!) Traveling: use travel size liquids because Europeans are sticklers on this. Stephen had to throw away all his hygiene products and I had to get rid of my nice detangler. I was so frustrated because in the Italian airport we had to go through security twice and even then they were picky. Also, play nice because everyone is tired, grumpy, hungry, and probably has a headache so for the time being refrain from sarcasm and mockery…and LOUD NOISES (if anyone read that in their Ron Burgundy voice we can be best friends forever). Each other: Stephen is never serious unless he’s tired so never take him seriously. And I’m the socially awkward penguin that everyone loves and a “scared turtle” which is like this constipated look I get when someone talks to me in another language and I don’t know what they are saying. 100% of the time their look is averted to Stephen so 100% of the time the look is successful. Please feel free to try it in your next awkward moment. If you’re still reading CONGRATULATIONS! If not I understand. I'll try to blog more so posts aren't this long but I'm not promising anything. Ciao! |
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