Before you get your panties in a bunch slow down, first, just picture a high school homecoming: loud music, seemingly sober people everywhere (no one I went with was drinking even though it was there), and a room filled with people who came there to dance but upon arrival decided they are A) to embarrassed to dance B) (this one is more popularly spread around) too cool for this club and dancing and really doing anything except sitting in a corner and be miserable. Because we all know not enjoying yourself is really, really the coolest decision you could ever make.
The night started out for me feeling like a school dance (fyi I attended every single one I could and had fun at like 4 of them) but progressed to really fun few hours of dancing and laughing which is a good night to me. Despite that, however, during the evening I couldn’t help thinking of things for why the club life is no life for me.
Bouncers, like policemen, scare the heck out of me: Italians are made of a smaller build naturally so I’m pretty sure I could have taken one of these guys on but they still made me feel like I was doing something wrong, they just looked like they wanted to throw us all out and spend the evening playing angry birds on their phones. (Side note: every time I see a cop I jump, especially when I’m driving. I immediately try to recall if I’ve broken the law recently and the possibility that they would know about it…that’s how I react to bouncers.)
I continually have thoughts like these when I see girls dressed up in their...well you know: “What would your mother think about that dress?” and “Do you realize why guys don’t know your name or realize you have a face…or a brain?” : I kid you not. I wanted to go out and buy these girls new, longer, looser dresses. I’m not sure how I came to instinctually think like this…maybe because I like wearing florals and make sure my shoes are first sensible before they’re fashionable. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll drool all over your Jimmy Choos like they’re made of gold but I’ll stick with my flats, thanks.
I’d have just as much fun staying home for a movie night: First, pros about staying home: the clothes are more comfortable, fleece blankets abound, you can eat ice cream at midnight just to take a step on the wild side. Dancing is fun and so is going out with a great group of friends but unless I’m feeling super foxy and ready to make my legs feel like they’re going to fall off 9 times out 10 I’m going to pick a girls movie night involving a chic flic and a massive bowl of Moose Tracks. Spinsterdom here I come!
I never know what to do with my arms: Okay, I love dancing and if I do say so myself I’ve got a decent amount of rhythm (once I loosen up a bit) but for the love of Pete what are you supposed to do with your arms? By the end of the evening I decided you just got to stop thinking about it because no one actually cares what you look like dancing or your arms for that matter so I let them turn to pasta and just let it go. But there’s got to be something else besides the “sprinkler” or the “shopping kart” because if the bouncers don’t kick you out before you get a chance to bust one of those moves your friends surely will.
I know I’ll definitely be back to a disco, as the Europeans call it, because they really can be a lot of fun, but like with high school dances I’m going to keep my expectations low and just go to have fun for me and that’s all. Any other night though you can find me on the couch in my flannel pajamas watching Wall-E.
Ciao!