Where did July go? Really, where did this summer go? I have ten more days left of my break before heading back down to Wilson and it feels like summer vacation started yesterday. I began this summer with a list of goals. Many of which I did not achieve. I did not take one trip, buy a pair (or two) of jeans, I did not knit my little heart out, I did not blog more, I did not stay connected with everyone that I wanted to, I have lacked gratitude, and I'm still not a millionaire. But, I'm not as disappointed as I could be.
I hope when I look back on this summer in the years to come I won't see it as a summer of missed opportunities or one that gave me exactly what I wasn't looking for, but a summer that (once again) trumped my earthly wishes by replacing what I wanted with what I needed.
I, desperately, needed to reconnect with my wombmate.
I needed to begin to learn how to discern my needs in situations and relationships that often leave me empty. (And also realize that's necessary to fill myself back up again).
I needed to learn that no one knows what's inside you unless you actually say it.
I needed to be reminded that communication is great, but actions speak louder than words.
I needed to come to love student loans and what experiences they help me afford.
I needed to understand that work without integrity is work that helps no one.
I needed to rely on calling friends far away and learning that it's okay to share your heart with the people who love you.
And above all, I needed to learn to trust in God's faithfulness during my most desperate moments.
I am a stubborn human and will likely need to be reminded of these lessons several times over, but I am grateful that I can begin this coming school year with a little more knowledge of myself that what I ended last semester with. In an unexpected way I feel prepared for the road ahead which is amazing given how many new adventures I have ahead of me. This semester will bring: two new work crews, a new dorm with my third college roommate, learning a fourth language, training in discernment, helping to lead First Years through their first semester at Wilson, and many unforeseen opportunities in between it all. But I don't feel scared or anxious (which, if you ask my mom, is unheard of in the world of Michelle at the beginning of new school years).
Despite what this summer has turned it to I still have a lot of room for growth and learning, but I'm comforted in the knowledge that I am fortunate enough to once again be in the right place to both learn and grow.
I hope that the end of this summer ends well for everyone and that this coming year brings everyone what they need, many adventures, and more chances to love.
I really didn't expect to be this vulnerable in this post, but that's what it turned into so maybe it is what needed to be said.
What has this summer been for you?
All my love and, per usual, much mid-Atlantic humidity,
Michelle