2. Marital communication issues and divorce
Many relationship experts believe that the foundation of a strong marriage is open communication. For many couples, communication keeps their relationship healthy. However, for others, breakdowns in communication can lead to divorce. In this essay, please identify three ways in which communication problems are a factor in divorce and propose well-considered solutions to preventing those problems. Your discussion should reference technological contexts of communication. For example, consider how the prevalence of mobile technology (such as texting) or social media (such as Facebook) play a role in helping or hurting marital communication. Please close your essay with a reflection upon whether resolution of communication problems can save a marriage. Consider the significance of poor communication, as compared to other factors, as a precursor to divorce. Use American Psychological Association (APA) Style for your scholarly citations that support your claims.
Modes of communication within the past 20 years have drastically changed the way individuals interact. With social media programs such as Skype and Facebook, electronic communication has never been better prepared to meet the demands of couples by delivering unprecedented exposure in the immediate now. These modes of communication are integral to relationships. Communication is integral and any mode to facilitate conversation remains equally important. Communication provides three constructs to every healthy relationship. First, open and fluid communication acts as a strong base to build the relationship on. In order to have a productive conversation a space needs to be created to communicate in. Secondly, communication opens the conversation up to compromise. Even two people in love will not always see eye to eye therefore beginning the conversation with compromise in mind allows ideas and emotions to be expressed more fluidly. Lastly, communication provides a field to work on the relationship as a team. Communication sometimes is not easy but being willing to work hard and well on relationships will make communication easier.
The prompt suggests “communication keeps… [marital] relationship[s] healthy” but a more accurate assessement would be that communication is the marriage, therefore, to comment on the quality of one is to comment on the quality of the other. In an instance when one says “We are in a unhealthy relationship” a more accurate statement is “We are communicating poorly”. In this example, the problem is that neither side knows how to communicate, and perhaps more accurately neither side feels welcomed to join the conversation. Over time, as the ground for communication becomes more narrowed and inaccessible so too does each individual become more inaccessible exponentially degrading the quality of the relationship. In order to maintain an open and clear communication field, and therefore an open and healthy relationship, three steps need to be taken. First, individuality and diverse opinions should be welcomed. Within a marriage each spouse needs to be recognized as an individual with separate thoughts, emotions, and ideas distinct from the other in order to feel welcomed in the relationship for who they are. Second, each partner needs to understand that no subject is off the table for discussion. Not all habits, actions, thoughts or expectations live acceptably within a healthy marriage but all need to be addressed without fear of adverse consequence on part of the other in order for two people to grow in love together. Lastly, acceptance and understanding during open and honest communication needs to be expected to improve grounds for communication.
As marriage and communication go hand in hand so too should compromise and relationship. Often in troubled marriages, even during times of fluid communication, compromise remains an absent solution post-discussion. Compromise in relationships proves imperative when unrealistic expectations develop to avoid undue conflict. Compromising requires sacrifice from both partners in the relationship. Ideally compromise should reach the most effective common ground. The first step to resolve unrealistic expectations through compromise is by identifying the root cause of the expectation. Perhaps as a result of differences in tradition, belief systems, or background expectations can arise in one partner while causing confusion for the other. By first working to understand the source of the situation, compromise becomes easier as perspectives are shared and confusion or apprehensions dissipate. Nevertheless, in order to welcome discussion, both partners must work to create a tolerant environment. Sometimes sharing personal capacities of oneself, like background or religion, can feel embarrassing or intimidating but when both sides of the discussion are open to ideas without prejudice the transfer for information becomes easier.
Factors that harm a marriage appear difficult, implementing protective measures in a failing marriage is difficult, but strong communication coupled with empathy, awareness and daily retooling are the right steps a couple should take to recover from the damage done by poor communication. Similar to relationships with parents, siblings or friends, marriage requires partners to share the work of actively building a life together. A couple has to face each day with the intention to love the other to the best of their ability. People are not perfect however, and sometimes good communication will be difficult. But love makes the hard work easier and inspires greater efforts to maintain and build a healthy marriage.
Marriage is not an absolute. A formula for a perfect marriage does not exist, therefore even when communication is fluid and both partners feel connected, understanding, and in-tune to each other’s needs and desires divorces occur. Productive communication, however, remains the best solution to issues and preempts divorce—with enough work and conversation two people can resolve their issues.